Lazy Wish Spells for Lazy Girls

            

   Have you gotten curious about magic spells? It reminds me of wizards or witches with flying brooms concocting weird stuffs in their giant cauldrons. Spooky isn't it? Sometimes we all want a shortcut to getting what we want and these spells might just do the trick. You wont lose anything anyway, so its probably worth a try. Perhaps there's a tiny little voice inside you itching to do it, in vain hopes that they might ACTUALLY work.
                            

   Well I was thinking about wishes yesterday so I decided to google some wish spells. There's quite a multitude of spells to choose from catering to different kinds of wishes and desires. From finding love, money, luck to  banishing an ex, removing bad karma and getting someone to dream of you. But lazy old me found some of them requires too much effort, recipes and time. Darn too complicated! I mean, where the hell will I get those rare sounding herbs, quills, newts eye or horseshoes? And my impatient side surely cannot wait for the next full moon to wax those steps.

   So I searched, scanned and narrowed down some simple spells that are easy to do. Perfect for the lazy girl. I have yet to try each and everyone of them and see for myself if they'd grant some of my wishes. Hmmm... perhaps getting that perfect bag, shoes and makeup? Or fortifying an already blissful relationship? Or simply wish for that stupid pimple to vanish?...

    


All you need are the three basic magic necessities, need, emotion, and knowledge. 
Concentrate on only what you need. Say the following; 
"I give, because I'm generous. I take because I ask. 
What I well deserve is what I will get. 
I deserve (whatever you need) I need (whatever you need) 
I will get (whatever you need) so be it, and so it is."


 

Take a blank piece of paper. Write whatever you want to take place, on this paper in large letters. 
Burn paper over a bowl/cauldron, while visualizing what you want to take place. 
Take ashes outside/toss into the wind. If there is no wind, simply toss into air and allow ashes to fall to the ground. Then say: "So mote it be!"
                            
 


Write down your wish on a piece of paper while visualizing what you want, tape a strand of your own hair over the most significant words (the hair should attach these words), fold the paper up and forget about it! You will see results very quickly.
                            

 

 Sit in a comfortable position with your legs crossed and your arms extended outward. 
Your receptive hand (whichever hand you do not write with, usually the left) should be wide open, palm facing upward. 
Your projective hand (the hand you do write with, usually the right) should be in a fist. 
Close your eyes and imagine your goal. 
Now visualize a bright red fire surrounding your receptive (open) hand, feel the "warmth" of the energy. 
Imagine it flows up your arm and through your body into your projective hand (the closed hand). 
Continue letting energy flow from the red energy "flame". 
Once the impulse hits you, and you feel the time is right, thrust both arms to the right (or left if you are left handed) opening up your projective hand as you do so. 
This motion should be similar to "throwing" the energy towards your goal. 
As you do this, say in a commanding voice what will happen as a result of the energy release. 
(For example, if you used it to get a raise in payment at work, you could say "I will get a raise!") 
Results, if successfully performed, will be almost immediate. With practice, this can work very well.
                            



On a windy day go outside taking a pen, marker with you. 
Choose a green leaf that has already fallen off of a tree. 
Write what you want to wish for on the leaf and kiss it and say 
"of my will, so mote it be," and let the wind take the leaf away.
                          



                          

   So there you have it! Don't they sound easy to do? You don't need to be a wizard or a sorcerrer to cast a spell. All you need is a fervent desire and willpower to make your wishes come true.

          
                       
   These spells sort of reminds me of "The Secret". You just have to concentrate really hard and visualize what it is that you want. Open your heart. Believe they are yours. Kill all your doubts. Feel it. Own it. Be grateful for that moment. Then sit back, relax and let the universe conspire and deliver to you all these wonderful things. Attract them like a magnet.  

You'll never know what surprises might come your way...

P.S.

Just don't expect to turn an ugly ex to a toad...  

          
 

To Snag A Vampire

*First of, Peace to all Twilight and vampire lovers, this is all just for fun. Cheers!*



   The movie "Twilight " has started a whole new vampire phenomenon. People talk about it. Women like it. The boyfriends hate it. Not to mention the goo-goo eyed schoolgirls drooling over Edward carrying "MARRY ME!!!" placards, wearing Team Edward shirts while shrieking "OMG! He's sooo cute! the hottest thing ever!". 

   The main character doesn't even possess the traits of a traditional vampire coz he can walk in the sun...sparkles! and prefers animals over humans. Wow! He certainly defies vampire logic. Glowing and softhearted. Totally unheard of! Yet millions of lovesick pre-pubescent teens and women obsess over him. And the world was never the same again...

   I'm not into this whole vampire frenzy coz I simply don't care. But since I find it quite an interesting topic I decided to write something about these fascinating creatures...

   The word vampire denotes dark underworld entities known to kill humans by sucking their blood. But why oh why are they often depicted as these hot gorgeous creatures roaming the earth at night? 

   Their mesmerizing eyes, chiseled faces and irresistable charms can hypnotize you til' you drop your panties. Gosh! if all those vampires looks like Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt or Robert Pattinson, then the earth will be filled with the stench of rotting female corpses piled on top of the other. 
                      
   These women would gladly offer their necks and beg those sexy fangs to suck em' dry. Why not? You'd rather succumb to a lovely beast, than be ravaged by homely earthling gorillas. At least when you die, you'll die in ecstacy. A bloody and kinky fetish! A tempting fantasy!

                            

So how's it like to have them for lovers?

Hmm...Let us count the ways:
*Drumroll please*



1. They don't grow old

                    

Pros: They look eternally young. You'll always wake up a giggly girl to his preserved youth. Forever a hunk. Saves cash on his Botox needs and other reconstructive surgeries.

Cons: You will look like his grandmother on the day you celebrate your golden wedding anniversary. You'll feel old, ugly and wrinkly. You'll get freaking jealous of the younger crowd. Then you'll get depressed and kill yourself.

2. They don't get fat


 
Pros: Have you ever seen a fat vampire? I don't think so! Blood, their elixir of life is non-fattening. So no risk of high cholesterol or stroke. Restaurants and fastfoods will be a thing of the past. No more junks. No more pigouts. Plenty of savings! You will lose weight with their lifestyle. They're fit and lean so no jingly-dangly beer bellies, no fat ass and you'll never hear that libido killer sound of fats plopping on your skin during sex. 

Cons: Unless you dont gag, you will have to get accustomed to the sight of entrails( heart/ liver) and blood juice inside the fridge. You also have to be vigilant in recruiting blood donors to sustain them. Dont forget, without blood no erection, and without erection no sex life! Got it? And it can be a heartbreaking task as you sacrifice your friends, families or beloved pets one by one for the sake of true love.  

3. They are afraid of sunlight

          

Pros: With the exception of Edward who only shines during daylight, majority of vampires hates the sun. Which is good coz they will never get sunburns or skin cancer. Their casket beds protects their pale alabaster skins from the sun's harmful UV rays. You'll also have plenty of time to spare while waiting for them to wake up. You can now finish your long overdue cross-stitch and scrapbook. And dont forget since they sleep all day, you can party with them all night!
 
*Bonus points if you're the cheating type, you can schedule your trysts during daytime* 

Cons: Forget about having those day trips, sunbathings or morning dates. They'll either die or sparkle in broad daylight. And people will be frightened to see freaks in public places. An angry mob of townspeople might gather, put them on a stake and burn them alive. So in order to fully protect them, you'll have to learn to go solo-flight.         

4. They have supernatural powers

          

Pros: Sounds cool eh? Their acrobatic stunts will stun and thrill you to no end. They can effortlessly piggyback you to the top of the tree even if you weigh 300 pounds. They appear/disappear in a blink of an eye. They can shape-shift into wolves or bats. You can earn money from them by letting them join the circus. Or even better, ask them to rob banks. No need to work. You can be as lazy as you like for the rest of your life.     

Cons: Say goodbye to privacy. They can follow you anywhere you go. No more secrets, no more excuses. You're stuck with them forever. You cannot breakup, divorce nor hide...it's hard to kill them coz they'll KNOW, or else they'll appear and you will DISAPPEAR forever! 
   

5. They are mysterious 

            

Pros: They watch you sleep everyday. Will love you even if you snore and drool with your mouth wide open. Will even  die for you. And a virgin at that! Which means no STD's or genital diseases. They'll blow your mind with their cryptic words and groovy moves. Just the thought of them will give you multiple orgasms even without touching yourself!     

Cons: They are actually hundred year old creepy pedophiles disguised as teens who likes to stalk girls in their rooms. They are manipulative, controlling, suicidal and obsessive. Signs of a psychopath. And you're not even sure if they're lusting over your flesh coz they might just be after your innards, aorta and blood. Remember, they are still cannibals afterall! No matter how they claim they don't drink human blood, you can never be too sure...  

6. They live forever

 

Pros: They are immortal. They can marry your daughter. And your daughter's daughter. They can support your kids even when you're dead. Heck! they can even become vampires themselves. Then you won't have to worry about their insurance, hospital bills or funeral arrangements. You just need one, your own! Saves a lot of money. You can now buy that Hermes bag you've long been dreaming of. And your legacy will last forever...

Cons: Can be incestuous. Not for the conservative and jealous types. Be prepared to have ZERO pride and swallow all the disgusting things that may occur, ala Jerry Springer. When you fight, you can't threaten them "I'll kill you!" coz they won't take you seriously. They'll just laugh Bwaha-ha-ha-ha!   


    
   It would seem bloody cool to have perfect boyfriends like that. Handsome, lovey-dovey, overly protective and have magical powers. All your girlfriends will be green with envy. Your popularity will soar! Your rivals will bow and kiss your feet. Your enemies will be scared...and will kiss your feet too.    
                             
   But sadly, there's no such thing as Edward who's so perfect he sparkles and shits "daisies". Only real-life dudes who farts and poops like the rest of us. Who smokes, stinks and cheats. Who whines, curses, grows old, gets wrinkles, goes bald, gets fat, uses false teeth, have arthritis and die of senility. The closest versions you can ever have of these amazing vampires can be found in mental institutions and jails TIED to their very own beds.  
                            
   These fictional characters only leads naive young girls to disappointment when they meet the real thing. They set ridiculously high-standards no sane man or normal guy can ever achieve. These poor women will save their precious virginity waiting for a nonexistent "Edward" until the ripe old age of 90 when even monkeys won't dare screw them anymore. 

   Its alright to fantasize about them. After all they are just fantasies. Period. But to wish for men to act like Edward makes me gag. They are just figments of imagination. Inks in a book. Entertainment. Plain fiction. Basically vampires are just a bunch of jumbled words created by bored but talented writers to milk some moolah from also bored but hopeless romantic readers.
                    
   It makes me wonder, what if they cast Rob Schneider instead of Rob Pattinson, will the girls still shriek with delight? Will the lines..."And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..." or "You're intoxicated by my very presence." and "Do I dazzle you" still sound as romantic and sweet? Will young girls still swoon at the thought of Schneider watching them sleep...they'll just call the cops! Will women still drop their panties?...they'll just shout "RAPE!"  

   Then no one will bother and "Twilight" will become obsolete like one of those comedy B-movies alongside the likes of "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" and "Earth vs the Spider". And the world will go back to its pre-pandemonium state. The guys will regain their egos. The girls will reclaim their sanity. Everything would be normal. No more "Why can't you be like Edward...goo...goo...ga..ga" lines. No more imaginary boyfriends. No more illusions. No more lies...  

But the vampires lives on...Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!

              
 

Thou Shall Not Judge

   Oftentimes after a long day, I'd drop by at this quaint bistro near the place where I stay. I'd sit at the same spot, beside a huge bay window overlooking the street. I would order the same tuna salad and tall glass of ice cappuccino. This is my favorite time of the day. All my stress melts away as I relax and enjoy my meal while I do my idle pastime of people watching. 

   As I lazily munch on my salad, I'd analyze and imagine the lives of the people eating around me, the ones passing by or anybody that catches my eye. I'd put a name, profile and story to the faces I see. At times I feel I'm 99.9% accurate of my assumptions...or so I thought!

   It's such a fun pastime watching and deciphering other people's every move. And I am fully aware that I seem like a nutcase every time I do that. But I can't help it! My restless and overactive brain cells gets the best of me especially during times when I'm bored. My oversized sunnies conceal my prying eyes as I pick on interesting looking characters. The ones who stands out from the crowd. And from there my story begins...

CASE#1:



   A young sexy girl who looks like she has Bridgitta for a name enters the bistro with an old fellow who looks like an Uncle Bob. The sight of an elderly man and a young meat would immediately get me to thinking that she's a sugarbaby or a mistress. And they are out on a tryst. The pained expression on her face clearly shows her embarassment and disgust to be seen in a public place with such an ugly old fart. I see her nervously lick her lips as she musters enough guts to smile and pretend that she's okay. After all she needs it. She needs the money. Even at the expense of her tattered dignity.

   People turn to look. They give them a quick once over and you can tell that they are all thinking of the same thing. Just another sugardaddy and just another gold digger. Tsk...tsk... The old man looks from left to right, probably checking if the coast is clear. A bunch of guys openly leer over his trophy "girlfriend". I assume his ego must've tripled in size to be seen on a date with someone like her. He walks with his head up, proudly displaying her as he slowly ushers her to their table. She fakes a huge smile in order for him not to notice the shame in her eyes. They choose a corner spot near my table of which I can hear snippets of their conversations.

Girl:"Im sorry if I don't get to spend much time with you. You know that she hates seeing us together..." (the nerve to even use the poor wife as an excuse!) 

Old man:"Dont worry honey, I understand. Eversince your mom and I divorced all she wants to do is take you away from me too..." 

   What? Did I hear right? So i was wrong, they are actually father and daughter! And all this time I've already painted nasty pictures in my head. My dirty mind labeled them into something they're actually not. Shame on me! 
*my accuracy rate drops to 50%*

CASE#2:



   On another day, a cute couple enters the bistro. He looks like he has David for a name, and she a Stacey. They look so good together. The typical perfect duo. They sit on the table adjacent to mine and asked for the menu. While waiting for their order I noticed that they were unusually quiet. He kept reading his celphone while she kept checking the decors adorning the room. 

   A-ha! My theory is that this couple must've been together far too long that they are bored to death with each other's company. Maybe they are trapped in a loveless relationship. She barely looks at him and when she does, only to ask " What are you having?" of which he lazily answers "I'll just have brewed coffee". Then they're awfully quiet again. And he goes back to his "marathon" texting. They are not sweet at all and seemed so distant with each other. 

  Such a lonely sight! I don't want to end up like one of these couples who've been together forever and has nothing more to say. What if he's already busy texting and flirting with another girl? Poor Stacey or whoever she is.

   After awhile, a buff guy in tight black shirt joins them and gives him a light peck on the cheek. Then he sits beside him and HOLDS his hand. *Surprise! Surprise!* I almost choked on my salad...

   Just like that I realized I was SO wrong again. They are NOT a couple and he's gay. How could I have not known by the way they act? Perhaps because he looks so much like a David?! 
*Yet again my accuracy rate drops to a mere 25%.*

LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING



   Sometimes things aren't always what they seem to be. Our dirty minds instantly typecast other people base on how they look, act and dress up. We tend to put malice on anything and everything that's out of the ordinary. We classify individuals on how society perceives them to be. Even I am a victim to this as my sisters are often mistaken as my friends, my brother as my boyfriend.*major ewww!*, and even my fiancé as my brother...hehe! We shouldn't be too quick in judging other people. For looks can REALLY be deceiving! 

      I know I should put an end to this silly game i keep playing inside my head. And STOP labeling innocent strangers. It is wrong to pre-judge and assassinate the characters of these people whom I don't even know. Maybe next time I should just mind my own business and start concentrating on my boring salad instead...yes right! I'll do that exactly. Or better yet I should just head home and start doing RELEVANT things than to waste my time thinking about stupid craps! Okay, time to ask for the bill now! 

   And just when I vowed to do just that, a flashy woman in her late 60's enters the room. She instantly catches my attention. She looks like someone with a name of Madam Marguerite. Dressed to the nines with gaudy baubles covering her wrinkly neck and with major plastic surgery done all over her tight face. Her Botox must still be fresh. Behind her, a young goodlooking lad meekly follows with his head down...hmmm...

   With a faint smile on my lips I quickly called the waiter and asked for another glass of cappuccino.  :-)

She's So Fine!

   Have you ever had girl crushes? Or have you discreetly tried to check another pretty girl out? I'm guilty of such! Don't get me wrong, I'm 100% a girlie girl but the sight of a sexy, foxy lady strutting by makes my head turn 360 degrees.

   I appreciate beauty in all forms. Tall, short, blondes, brunettes, tan, black, white, slim and curvy. As long as the girl behind it knows how to carry herself well. Dresses impeccably and exudes that confident attitude. I admire women who take the extra effort to look their very best when going out. Of course if you're a natural knockout beauty you'd turn heads effortlessly.

   But even the average girl-next-door could elicit the same reaction if she knows how to carry herself , knows how to make the most out of what she's got, and knows how to flaunt and highlight her positive attributes. I often find myself thinking "Man I wish I had her style!" or "I never knew those shoes and purse could actually look good together!" or "Damn her makeup looks so good on her, I wonder what products she used" or "I'd kill to have gorgeous legs like her!" and the thought bubbles goes on and on...

   Men check out girls most of the time. But when it's women who checks you out, I think it's the highest form of flattery. Why? Coz we are the discerning bunch. We easily spot and criticize any flaw or imperfections. We are the hardest ones to please. Maybe because most of us has this built-in attitude that I'm better than her or we normally see ourselves higher than the average girl. So when THAT somebody enters the picture, oozing with so much sex appeal, with that elusive X-factor, our senses begin to go mumbo- jumbo. Well, how often do you get to see a woman who makes your jaw drop?



    One time I remember being at the counter of Target. The woman behind me is oozing with so much appeal. In fact she doesn't even seem to know it. She's wearing plain tracksuit, barely a trace of makeup, her hair up in a bun with a few wisps on the side. I elbowed my younger sister and silently whispered "Hey check that girl out!" of which she replied,"Yeah, already did!". We both had that understanding, we both knew and were both silently in awe. I wished I was like her...

   There are tons of pretty women everywhere. In L.A. alone there are lots of wannabe actresses who even looks better than the actual stars. Even some of the cocktail ladies at the casinos or the strippers that I've seen in Vegas could give real models a run for their money, if given the chance. There are thousands of unknown beauties undiscovered and unrecognized. But they continue to give delight to the eyes of regular denizens and Joes.

   These goodlooking girls makes me wanna better myself. I get inspired by em'. I get tips and pointers just by staring at them alone. I mentally list whatever things I like so that I can try to apply and emulate it. Note to myself: buy those heels, wear similar belt, get that cute top...etc...etc. It's not just the beauty that knocks me out but their sense of styles as well.

   Somewhere, somehow, some eye would look at us. Appraise us and judge us unknowingly. So we better prepare ourselves and get ready. Nothing is worse than a sight of an unkempt woman who doesn't give a care in the world.  I always make it a point to look decent even if I'm just going to buy tampons. For I don't know who I might bump into. I certainly don't wanna hear acquaintances say "What the f*?! happened to her?". It's okay to be vain and do whatever it is that floats your boat as long as you look good, then you'll feel good.



   So for all the single ladies, always try to primp and prettify yourselves everytime you go out coz who knows Mr Dreamboat might just be lurking at the corner, or perhaps you might even catch the eye of some prince of Persia or Tuttamunga.

   For all those who are taken, please never ever let go of your looks or style. Men gets pleased with a woman who preserves her beauty. And lastly, for those who simply don't care. I rest my case. God bless you all! Ta-ta!:-)

Granny Panties!

Don't we just love to hate em'?

   Admit it, at one point or another we all loved wearing those giant knickers. It's cottony texture feels so soft  and comfy that it makes us feel so good down under. These high cut panties rides all the way up to the waist and covers the entire abdominal area.
  
   Amidst my multitude collection of sexy thongs and t-backs, these giant underwears holds a special place in my heart. They remind me of childhood days when tiny hearts or Disney princesses are printed all over them. I enjoyed the feeling of these cute characters covering my thingie. As if they're preciously guarding it. My princesses are always with me everywhere I go so i felt special underneath.

   I love wearing em' at home paired with a huge shirt or pyjamas. Especially when I'm feeling lazy and all I wanna do is put my feet up, drink my favorite coffee and read a good book while some relaxing music is softly playing at the background. Aaaah bliss! My panty and me...in perfect harmony. I'm absolved from all the pressures of trying to look sexy!

   But its not always happy days with my Granny panties.And all good things must come to an end. I remember a horror story which still haunts me up to now. Several years ago I was rushed to the hospital because of gastroenteritis. It was so painful that I forgot I still had em' on. I wasn't able to change and that's a HUGE mistake. Damn! I wanted the earth to swallow me the moment the doctor asked me to lie in bed for examination. To make matters worse, there were also a few nurses around.What if they know my friend? or a friend of a friend of mine?!#%! I was silently cursing myself for wearing those damn panties that i silently prayed I didn't wear the one with tiny holes! All the time I was fixated on my underwear. And all I could hear from the doctor's mouth were mumbled words. What if they were all laughing deep inside and they're just trying their best to keep a straight face? Here's a seemingly fine lady on the outside but wearing gigantic panties on the inside. What does that speak of me! My embarrasment overshadowed my tummy ache. Great! I needed the comfort but not that way. I felt so bad that I never want to see that doctor or those nurse's faces ever again!

   I learned my lesson, if something unexpected happens and I have to be stripped or hospitalized or something, i always have to be ready coz at least I wanna do it in style! I don't wanna be known as the girl who wears her grandma's undies. And you'll never know when disaster might strike again.

    Plus when you're with the guy you're digging you'll never know when 'that' moment might steam up. You definitely don't want his rising libido to shoot down to zero the moment he sees em'...How sexy is that? Imagine him caressing your thighs only to feel those giant panties. The last thing he wants is to do is be reminded of his grandma. You wanna turn him on...not off. Unless you've been together for 40 years and happily married then I don't see any concern for this. But still we shouldn't become too comfortable coz a younger vixen wearing tiny thongs might just snatch your man away!

   Sometimes i miss wearing my granny panties. Especially when i don't feel like being vampy..when i don't care about looking good..when i just want to be alone. But if you have a man in your life. And you wanna look desirable in his eyes. Wear something sexy even though you know he'll accept your giant panties. Don't let your relationship become too complacent. So always put the time and effort to look appealing even in your houseclothes down to your panties.

  For the meantime byebye to my dear old friends. Perhaps when im old and gray. We'll see each other again someday!

Have a great day!

My 2 Dogs Appears in My Sis Ovaries!

This is my sister's left ovary...can you see Zoe?

This is Zoe...eerie resemblance!

My sister's right ovary...can you spot Chino?

And this is Chino on the right....can you see the uncanny resemblance?

   I know this may sound and look weird but recently my sis went for a check up for her ovaries. Like a dutiful older sister I accompanied her to the hospital to have her transvaginal ultrasound. And what came out was kinda freaky. The image and likeness of my 2 dogs. The hair on my arms and legs literally stood up!

   As you can see in the ultrasound results, Zoe my girl puppy poodle appeared on her left ovary. While Chino my boy poodle appeared on her right ovary. Haha! It sure looked funny. We teased her that maybe she's pregnant with my 2 dogs. 

    The findings said she has polycistic growths. My youngest sister have always been overweight. I think her hormones has something to do with the unwanted weight gain. No matter how few or little she eats, she still continues to get bigger. I hope the doctors will be able to do something about it coz I want her to live a long and healthy life. She's so vibrant and funny despite her condition. I'm sure that once she loses weight all the boys will be falling in line just to be with her;-)

   Im planning to have my own check up and ultrasound too as it's already required by doctors to have it done yearly. We all want healthy ovaries don't we? And we dont want puppies to appear either ;-) So as early as now we shouldn't take it for granted. Early detection and prevention will save us  from all the hassle of sickness.

   As for Zoe and Chino, call it coincidence or whatsoever. But for me it must be a sign that my two babies are definitely special. So special that they even show up in my sister's ovaries. Hehe! Oh well, I just wanted to share this strange story...hugs!