A Little Bulimia Drama

  

   I just chomped a huge burger complete with two upsized fries and regular coke. And just this morning I ate 4 glazed krispy kremes. Man I feel sloppy! I feel as if i've gained a thousand pounds. Every yummy morsel must have disintegrated and multiplied over a million times in my tummy by now. To be distributed in my arms, hips and waist. Which will result to another layer of unwanted fats. Why can't they all just settle and proliferate in my bust area???

   Well it's a lazy Sunday afternoon and watching marathon dvd's won't be complete without munching on something. But why oh why did I allow myself to be tempted by no-no foods when it comes to satisfying my crazy urge? Well all because it's freaking ! It's so damn hard to resist those foods when it's right in front of your face.

   I seriously wanted to vomit. I've had issues before with Bulimia. I binge then purge after. It started during my adolescent years when I realized I had pacman's appetite. My metabolism then was working overtime but now it's as slow as a turtle. I would eat to my hearts desire any food that I like then stick my finger down my throat to puke all that i've eaten. I even developed a technique to easily do it. I think about all the yucky things in the world and my purging becomes a breeze. It's a really gross and disgusting habit. You'll reek and stink badly. Mouthwash and a little spritz of cologne is always essential. I used to do it at home and even at the restaurant. Immediately after dinner I excuse myself to go to the loo. And that's when it happens. Nobody knew until I was discovered.

  One time my aunt from US stayed in my bedroom and I just quickly finished doing the 'deed'. In my panicked state I forgot to flush the toilet bowl. When she used my bathroom I heard a loud shriek and she was like 'ewww what the hell was that!'. She immediately told my mom and my dirty secret was finally exposed! As expected, I got a major lashing from my folks and an endless litany of the dangers of Bulimia. Like a guilty dog who just stole a bone, I meekly nodded and feigned obedience. I promised not to do it anymore. Promises that went out of my nose coz I still continued doing it.

   I wanted to be extremely skinny and slim wasn't good enough for me. In fact before I developed bulimia I was anorexic. I just luckily recovered from it coz I saw how ugly I looked. It was as if im staring at a dull and lifeless skeleton in front of the mirror with all my ribs jutting out. It was like seeing an image of a holocaust survivor...So when Bulimia entered the picture I managed to revive some healthy glow back to my life by eating again. But as my appetite grew so did my pants and I hated it.

   I admit that I also fell victim to the distorted concept that media feeds to the society. Growing up, I had Kate Moss as an icon. Her waif figure is scattered in almost every magazines and billboards. I admired her. Wanted to be like her. And it doesn't help that the slogan 'Thin is in' has influenced my unsteady frame of mind. I thought that's what's ideal. I wanted to stay skinny without the dangers of anorexia so I thought bulimia was the answer.

   But I was only fooling myself. I started to develop some sort of chest pain. I also experienced severe stomach cramps and ulcer. I started doing some research on my own and was horrified at the extent of damage it can do to the body.

Bulimia effects:
-tooth enamel erosion, dental cavities  ( who wants ugly teeth?)
-swelling and soreness in salivary glands
-ruptures of the stomach, esophagus
-abnormal buildup of fluids in the intestines (yikes!)
-electrolyte imbalance
-dehydration
-irregular heartbeat that in severe cases could lead to heart attack (major yikes!)

   The worst part is i cannot even share this to my mom coz I already promised to stop. I know if I continue doing it I could die. And what, all for the price of that stupid vanity!! I got so scared that I decided to put an end to all this madness.

   Im glad I did and eventually I bounced back to normalcy with a healthy dose of perception. It's not an easy thing to do but gradually I recovered. Sometimes it's hard to fight those inner demons especially when your mind is so strong. Like this afternoon, I heard those voices again telling me to purge all those fat-laden donuts, burger, coke and fries. I was almost tempted but I fight it each time by remembering what I read and the urge to do so instantly vanishes.

   Besides it's not everyday that I pig out and today is a Sunday! so I might as well give myself a delicious treat... Which is exactly what I just did. Life is too short to deprive myself of some flavorful joys. A little treat won't hurt every now and then. And I won't ever ever let that nasty Bulimia ruin my life again. End of story :-)

Do you also have a little bulimia story to share?

Thanks for visiting :-)

My 7-Days Cabbage Soup Diet Experience

   I wanna commemorate one year of succesful weight loss with this wonderful diet. I remember it was exactly around this time last year when I tried this cabbage soup diet. It was out of sheer desperation. I got so depressed when I gained 30 freaking pounds in just a span of 4 months. And all by endless eating of unhealthy junks at unholy hours. Imagine munching on pasta, pizza, and McDonalds every night before going to sleep for 120 consecutive nights and you'll get the picture.
Fats,flabs, and more fats. I became too complacent that I never thought my bingeing would one day take its toll.

   For someone who's not used to being fat, 30 pounds and clothes that doesnt fit equals a nightmarish existence. As what i wrote in my previous post, i lost my self-confidence. I hated going out. I felt unattractive and literally became a hermit. Each remark about my weight gain felt like a dagger being twisted in my heart. I terribly missed my cheekbones, flat abs and tight butt. Haha!      

Here's the recipe...

Ingredients:
•1 head cabbage, shredded or chopped
•2 large onions chopped
•16-28 ounces canned tomatoes, chopped
•2 green peppers
•1-2 package Lipton onion soup( in my case I used knorr chicken/beef cubes)
•black pepper
•any fresh herbs of your choice,chopped
•6 carrots sliced
•1/2 pound green beans, sliced on diagonal
•1/2 cup balsamic vinegar(optional)

   Put all vegetables in a big pot and cover with water. Bring to boil, stir in the soup mix(if desired), and boil gently for 10 minutes. Cover, reduce heat and simmer until all the vegetables are soft. Stir in the black pepper and chopped herbs.

* Eat as much as you like, as often as you like. Drink as much water as you like and non-caloric beverages including coffee, tea and herbed teas.

Here's what else you can eat and when:

DAY1: All fruits except bananas
DAY2: All vegetables, raw or cooked
This includes baked potato with a little butter
DAY3: Fruits and vegetables but no potatoes or bananas
DAY4: Bananas and skim milk--eat as many as 8 bananas and drink as many as 8 glasses of skim milk
DAY5: Beef, skinless chicken and or fish--as much as 20 ounces, total. You can also eat 6 tomatoes. And you must drink 8 glasses of water. Don't forget at least one bowl of soup.
DAY6: Beef, skinless chicken, or fish and vegetables. Drink 8 glasses of water and eat at least one bowl of soup.
DAY7: Brown rice, vegetables and fruit juice

Note:
=drink multivitamins
=do not exceed period of seven days
=no cheating...hehe!
      
   This diet is not for the fainthearted, weak-spirited and lazy individuals. It is for those who are totally serious about losing weight. You should have that fiery and burning desire to shed those extra pounds as it involves a great deal of sacrifice and strong-will.

   Eating cabbage soup for seven days may sound easy, but is quite torturous while you're at it. At first I found it yummy and filling. The soup was tasty enough to satisfy my cravings. But on the second, third and fourth day it started to taste so bland and blah! No amount of fruits and vegetables compensated my urge to eat anything that has a semblance with 'real food'. I kept salivating over commercials featuring mouthwatering dishes. I felt weak, shaky and grouchy. I just looked at my tiny clothes to have that fierce determination and busied myself with other things. On the 5th day I was finally allowed some meat. I devoured each morsel like crazy. Each bite was heaven! I also started to notice that I'm losing weight. I think it's more of water weight as I've been constantly going to the loo. But irregardless i felt happy and lighter.

   The cabbage soup diet is more of a detox. A precursor to having a healthy lifestyle. When I finished the diet I stopped eating like a pig. I assume that my tummy have adjusted to smaller food intake. I continued to eat lesser and lesser. My clothes size were also dropping. Unbelievably I lost those 30 damn pounds! and until now i'm maintaining my weight. I'm back to my ideal 118 pounds. I've never looked back since then. The diet jumpstarted a totally new eating habit and I've never looked back eversince.

  Im a happy girl again and everytime I look back at those 2 fat months I can't help but smile coz I emerged victorious. Bye bye flabs and hello to a slimmer and sexier me again. Whenever those people who saw me at my heaviest asked me what I did I never fail to share this secret. In fact I just repeat the 7 days diet whenever I feel I'm gaining weight again.There's really no such thing as overnight miracle, only a well-balanced, controlled and healthy meal is the answer to this dilemma that has been plaguing millions of people. A little sacrifice and willpower will really go a long long way. So if you find yourself stucked in the same old rut where I've been, the 7 days cabbage soup diet might just be the answer to all your prayers. It's so effective and it really worked for me! Trust me, I've been to the other side of the pig fence and I know how it feels like. So grab yourself some cabbages and let the wonder begin!

    

Chitosan Trim Diet Supplement

Here we go again, another diet pill that caught my eye while checking out what's new in Watsons. The price is okay since it's below 50 sgd. My mom's gonna kill me if she finds out that i have one of those "diet crap" again. I know it's unhealthy to keep taking weight-loss pills but i don't know why my curiousity always gets the best of me. And another plausible excuse is that i wanna maintain my ideal weight right now. Chitosan Trim is made in Japan, the land where majority of women are looks obsessed. It says at the back that it is a unique dual action formula that breaks down and remove fat naturally. It claims to be beneficial for healthy blood glucose, blood pressure and cholesterol levels (hmmm...a diet product with actual health benefits!). It also reduces bloatedness and improve intestinal health with beneficial bacteria growth (whoa!...another health thingie thing!). It is also recommended for meat lovers or individuals with diets high in fat (sounds like me...whenever i cheat with my food intake esp during "blue" days). The ingredients are comprised of Vinegar extract which dissolves fat and detoxifies whilst at the same time suppressing appetite and promotes healthy metabolism. Chitosan, a fast-absorbing natural fiber derived from shellfish that has the capacity to absorb several times its own weight of fat/oil, which are then secreted.Chitosan Oligosaccharide reaches the colon where it is broken down by the enzymes and delivered throughout the body to cleanse cells of waste, enhancing the detoxification and slimming effect further. So now, don't be surprised that after reading the "promising" promises i just had to get it.

Chitosan Trim has 270 mini round caplets that's very easy to swallow. It is recommended that you take 3-6 caplets daily before food intake. So i take 3 before lunch and another 3 before dinner. Breakfast is not an option since i wake up late. And now for my personal verdict, after using this product for almost 3 weeks, i noticed that my bowel movement is better. I don't get hungry as much and i've lost 1 kilo. Hoooray! Perhaps then i can convince my mom that there really is a healthy diet pills supplement that's not meant to harm my system. I just hope she'll buy it. Teeheehee!

Xndo Diet Hook-up

Since i'm a self-confessed weight loss afficionado, it's no wonder that i immediately grabbed xndo meal replacement products the moment i set my eyes on it. The packaging was eyecatching and handy. The price is reasonable as well. It's so easy to find one because 7-11 stores carry this product. So far i've seen 5 variants, tomato/mushroom soup, lamb, fish and beef casserole. Don't expect too much on the taste department since its a diet food. But it's quite tasty for me anyway and i can tolerate anything and everything as long as its non-fattening. The fish, lamb and beef meal is done risotto style. Just microwave it for a few minutes and it's ready to eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner. The best part about this product is that you will feel full already after finishing one packet so bingeing is out of the question. I'm trying to integrate xndo to replace some of my meals as part of my dietary lifestyle. So far so good and it helps me maintain my current ideal weight without the fear of adding unwanted pounds. I can't wait for lunch since i'll be having my favorite xndo flavor which is the tomato soup..yumyum! I hope xndo will come up with more food variants so that dieting won't feel like torture anymore.

Weight Loss Drama-rama

   Dieting has always been a constant nemesis in a world filled with yummy temptations. Everywhere you go giant food advertisements seems to be calling out your name, luring you to come and take a bite. You get weak in the knees salivating over those delectable dishes. You can almost taste it, and feel it in your tongue. Closing your eyes you smile and say mmm...Then reality hits you and you realize that your waistline is no longer as svelte as it used to be. The weighing scale is no longer as forgiving and you remind yourself for the "nth" time that you are NOT one of those supermodels or lucky humans whose metabolisms work faster than a speeding bullet. How many times have you found yourself in this dilemma? perhaps countless times already. Its almost a neverending battle of the wills.

   I am one of those people whose frequent struggle is to watch what goes inside their mouths. Counting calories has become a daily habit. Although most of my life i've been pretty slim, there were several occassions when my weight fluctuates like crazy. One moment im skinny and the next thing you know i've already ballooned to elephantine proportions (exaggerating). I've been anorexic at 89 lbs, bulimic at 118 lbs, chubby at 135 lbs, neurotic, psychotic...name it, i've had it! I want to badly believe that my hormones are to be blamed coz' only then can i justify my "gluttonic" mode or starve-crazy side. 


   Yet i am fully aware that its my mind who's in control of everything. Like for example, i am being offered a jar of cookies, i tell myself that i will only eat one piece. But it's so damn good that i have to take another bite. I shouldv'e stopped right there and then but nooo! i decide that 3 more pieces wont hurt. After eating the fifth cookie i start feeling guilty and the voice inside me starts saying, "What the heck, what difference does it make now? you already ate 5 cookies so you might as well finish the whole jar!" In the end, the jar would always be empty then i'll begin to silently curse myself AGAIN for giving in...and the cycle goes on and on...

   In my "buffet-eat-all-you-can" phase, I often succumb to the irresistable appeal of mouth-watering dishes. I eat to my hearts content and only stop when my stomach aches. This time there's no restricting voice in my head that tells me to stop. I noticed that the ones with richer fat contents often taste better, while the healthier options are usually blander. But there's always a price you have to pay when you choose the delicious life. Sigh! I remember a few months back i reached my heaviest weight. I cannot fathom what i saw in the scale. I was 30 pounds overweight! Overeating, no excercise and Mcdonald's delivery every midnight sealed the deal. No wonder all my clothes were suffocatingly tight. I even accused the poor innocent washing machine as the main culprit for shrinking my clothes. It doesn't help when tactless acquaintances start noticing it and tell you pointblank in your face about how MUCH you've gain. The worst thing is standing naked in front of the mirror sideways and looking very much pregnant! I felt ashamed of myself. I finally decided enough is enough for my unhealthy lifestyle! 


   I googled some fast weight-loss tips and i chanced upon this so-called cabbage soup diet. I decided to give it a try. It sounds easy but it was definitely torturous for somebody who even dreams of foods. Just imagine eating cabbage soup for 7-days and you'll get the picture. But then i was able to religously follow the plan and actually survive (clap! clap! clap!). It sort of detoxifies the body for one week. I also noticed that it lessened my hunger pangs and i had to go to the loo a lot (mostly at night). After cabbage diet, i started to avoid softdrinks, cakes and the rest of the fattening food group. I mainly eat salad (usually with vinaigrette), fish, grilled vegetables and tuna now. I also drink lots of water and try to exercise by walking as much as i can. I noticed that i was losing weight. My pants size dropped from size 14-10. My clothes are looser and my stomach doesn't look like its about to give birth anytime soon anymore. 


   I realized that you dont need to buy expensive diet pills or starve yourself in order to lose weight. Just eating healthy and not exceeding 1200 calories per day is the key for me. It really works! Trust me,my pants are starting to get loose again and i might need to get a new pair soon...another size smaller.