Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Boredom Bitchings

   There are times when I wanna bang my head up against the wall and scream the loudest AAAARGGH!you can ever imagine. It's come to visit me again, my constant nemesis from keeping my sanity intact...BOREDOM! For a restless wandering soul like me it's utter torture to be tied up with this kind of emotion. It's like reaching a plateau where everything looks blah, bland and blander. It's so bad that not even the trendiest bag or newest makeup could make me high.

   I've noticed boredom attacks me during moments when I feel like a stone. Yeah, even my emotions can get bored. It's like time suddenly freezes for like an eternity. My bed becomes one with my body as i don't even have the slightest ounce of energy to wake up and smell the roses. I cannot comprehend how and why I develop this feeling. It just happens. I'm just so bored that even when people talk to me I just nod and pretend to listen whilst all the time I'm staring at the blackheads poking out of their noses. Yawn...yawn..more yawns...

   Maybe I just need a little drama or spice in my humdrum state. I don't even have any major problems yet I'm bitching about nothing. Maybe there's really such a thin line between contentment and boredom. Don't get me wrong coz I do feel thankful for all my blessings, i know what i've got and what i don't but it seems like Im still searching for that certain something to fill this void inside. Perhaps I hate monotony coz everything else seems predictable already. It just eats me alive when this happens. One moment I feel so energetic and on top of the world then suddenly I'd begin to feel dull.

   I wish there's a way to sustain that euphoric feeling but it just depletes after awhile. Like a gasoline that started on a full tank I'm now running near empty. I know this is just a temporary phase but it sucks whenever this happens. I'm aware that it's virtually impossible to be perpetually glued in a constant state of bliss. They say it's all in the mind, but when one's mind is blank it can get a little rusty too.

  So in times like this I cope with my imaginary side as an escape from reality. I paint the sun pink with hues of lavender. I imagine eating cottoncandy clouds or living with bananas in pyjamas where everyday we'll just be singing happy tunes. I wish by tomorrow i'll snap out of this trance. But for the meantime i just have to contend myself with fellow bananas until the time i wake up and the sun is once again the color yellow.

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