Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Don't Look For Love It Will Just Find You
I remember writing this piece before when I was younger, single and bored with my life. It now amuses me as to how many things have changed since then. Although I'm in a happier state right now, I just want to share a piece of me that viewed love in a different way. I have to admit that I really found love when I least expected it. Happy reading!..................
"DON'T LOOK FOR LOVE IT WILL JUST FIND YOU" We may have heard of this cliche several times already. It does make sense if it actually happens, but what if after a thousand and one dates you still find yourself moping alone? Apparently, much to your chagrin, you have to admit that there's SOMETHING wrong and it can be quite frustrating esp. if you're no longer in your teens and currently facing a chronological dilemma. Then it's high time for you to do some major evaluation. That's when your savant, hypothetical and critical sides start to manifests itself.
You begin to ponder and recall the predominant moments that occurred and ransack for details stored somewhere in your memory bin. Review different angles, the highlights, the low downs and practically analyze every nooks and cranny of your life wondering where you've gone wrong. And when the horde of "whys" that flood your mind remain unanswered, you start to find fault in everything. From questioning your luck, your KARMA, to the point of blaming even the stars and constellations above for continuously conniving in the prevention of "Mr. Perfect" to come your way.
In denial you theorize that the sun and moons in the universe weren't properly aligned the exact moment that you were conceived which keeps altering your fate. Pathetic as it may sound, in lighted candles, sacred incense and unintelligible mantras, you mumble and chant to the gods of the high heavens (GUIDED BY HOW TO FIND HIM COSMIC BOOKS) for the emergence of the ultimate one. "Ebekelele umpa unga unda lunda yakkity ukulala!" Undaunted, you belligerently challenge and psyche yourself that YES! you will find him...sooner...or later, even if it means becoming a wandering nomad.
Surely fate must just playing games with you (again?).
Ever since,man has this banal notion of wanting the best CATCH for egoistic reasons. Subconsciously, there's this innate desire of wanting to be constantly admired, to be envied by others. And the idea of being one, further heightens his desire to be identified with someone who fits his ideals, because he deems it as a reflection of good taste and high standards. Thus, there are those who thrive on the attention that others give to boost their flagging self-esteems, mediocrity has no place in their realms. So the satisfaction of getting a prize catch duly confirms his imperious nature..
But to be too picky just for the sole purpose of self gratification defeats the purpose of finding real love since superficial paradigms gets in the way of measuring a persons worth. It is quite reasonable to also consider the physical and external factors, but to be overly discriminating cuts short the great possibilities and chances that may transpire. For how else would you get to know a person on a deeper level if you keep on zeroing in on even his tiniest flaws, if you inconsiderably disregard someone just because he wore an eccentric outfit on your very first date and automatically add his name to the list of geek files, or just because he finds Roseanne Barr the epitome of being a woman doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with his head, maybe he has this penchant for Reubenesque figures and he's simply appalled at the sight of anorexic looking women because he happens to be a pro-healthy advocate that is concerned more with well-being than vanity.
Remember, to each his own since every individual is a patchwork of diverse and complex characters that constitute on how he is as a being. Nobody's perfect and finding "such" in an ocean of oddballs is truly an Olympic feat to boot. I'm not implying that you should jump into whoever is available at the moment, but it's just logical enough to regard those who have potentials too. Sometimes there's more than meets the eye, and the intangible beauty hidden underneath every facade can only be seen in time. Don't be judgmental and take the time to get to know him better.
So the next time you see that neon emergency "EXIT" sign flashing on his forehead, don't dash off at once. Be considerate enough to take note of his other sides as well, know his strengths and weaknesses, see if you can stand and accept his views. But if after several coffee breaks you realize that you have ZERO chemistry, that there's nothing fascinating about him, that the two of you are as different as day and night, that he bores you to tears, that your compatibility ratio is ten to one then it's perfectly reasonable to RUN to the nearest door.
If only finding that certain someone is as easy as playing a roulette, and there's no points or factors to consider...just spin the wheel and VOILA! who ever the arrow will point to will be your instant mate. Then we'd all be spared from the agony of trying to find that person in this confusing labyrinth of life. Being numb and emotionless will alleviate those aching and longings....But we're not robots merely programmed to adapt to another simulation, we're human beings! And that's what sets us apart in this world, we have the ability to feel...to LOVE.
And that's another essential aspect to deal with once you've reached the cusp of platonic friendship with a possible mate. It is the hardest part to contend with because liking someone is as easy as counting 1-2-3's but learning to love that person is the Pythagorean theorem equivalent of it. It takes numerous sincerity and tremendous effort for it to grow, it's a metamorphosis of feelings and how you interact determines its ability to bloom.
So before you consume all the remaining hopes in your system....and blame the heavens again for your misfortune, you should THINK not just once or twice but even a hundred times. Instead of only focusing on the outside, study yourself too. Don't bite on the distorted concepts that society feeds you. Maybe it's you who keeps running away that hinders love from finding you. Cut that fantasy of a knight-in shining-armor who will only rescue you in your dreams. Stop looking for that "perfect person" which is nonexistent and try to bend your illusions to a more pragmatic level.
Sometimes you just fail to realize that the one you are looking for is already there, right in front of your very eyes. You just don't see it because you don't want to and because you're too busy scanning the horizon for a better one. Just open your eyes...for who knows, maybe that geek you openly detest possesses all the qualities you've been looking for. And amidst his quirks, lurks a passionate, romantic and sensitive man. A wonderful romance waiting to unfold once you let him find his way to your heart...and this time around you need not look for it anymore.