Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Cheaters 101



   I wrote this piece as a fun way to decipher all the cheaters out there. It is a compilation of real life stories from friends, acquaintances and regular people's experiences. It might be a helpful way to help give you clues about how sneaky men can be.

-his celphone which used to be scattered everywhere is now literally invisible
-there's a sudden rise of pee or poop sessions, he often has the need to go  to the bathroom and sometimes it takes him forever to get out
-before he used to only call you baby, now he's calling you honey, love, babe, dear... etc because he believes the more pet names, the sweeter
-if asked why the same girl keeps calling, he'll say she's just asking for instructions, directions and all the lame excuses
-his foolproof line is "Shes just a friend!"
-there's now a new bible study day of which you aren't invited and you cannot disturb him durin those holy sessions
-he keeps all the codes of his friendster, facebook, ym or email accounts a secret or if he does let you know he has other multiple accounts hidden
-he may be hiding another celphone which you don't know of
-alarming increase on phone bills, withdrawals and credit card usage
-he is always too tired or too stressed out by the time he hits he bed
-when in public, he looks anxious, uneasy and agitated. Keeps checking left and right
-he suddenly has a new bracelet, ring or shirt which you know he'll never buy in the first place yet he still insist he just felt like buying those stuffs
-he's always pressed for time,always rushing and restless
-his phone is always on silent mode coz he claims he doesn't want to be disturbed
-he buys new sets of clothes and shoes, complete with perfume, haircut and the works! which he suddenly has the need for when going out to "work" ( but mostly he wears his ratty outfits with you )
-from a former couch potato he is now a social butterfly with a calendar full of so-called events
-he pretends to call and talk to a buddy but once out of earshot he immediately starts calling the other girl
-he rarely and barely answers your calls when you contact him
-he sleeps with the phone under his pillow
-goes everywhere ( bathroom, kitchen, sala...etc) with his celphone glued/stuck to his body
-he changes all the girls names in his contacts to guy names ex. Michelle to Michael, Jane to John...etc
-you are NOT supposed to read his phone coz he has personal male-bonding experiences with his buddies that girls shouldn't know of
-CLEAR HISTORY is his fave button in his computer
-deleted inbox, sent messages and calls which doesn't match his LOG history
- unexplained long absences with feeble excuses to cover his tracks
-his favorite line when you question him is "Dont you trust me?"
-he develops a penchant for mushy songs complete with that goo-goo eyed look when you know he's totally NOT into those  things!
-you often catch him staring blankly into space lost in deep blissful thoughts
-be wary if he keeps telling stories about a cheating pal coz for all you know it might BE him and is discreetly fishing out for your opinion
-his stories are so inconsistent and when you probe and ask him further to clarify he suddenly becomes defensive and gets mad
-watch out when he has that occassional slip of the tongue by mentioning things he THOUGHT the two of you did, for example...
   Guy: " I really loved that paella we ordered at that cozy Spanish resto"
   Girl: "But we haven't eaten there yet?"
   Guy: " Oh i forgot, i was referring to my mom, sorry my mind's kinda clouded right now...yakkity yakkity yak...mumbling galore..."
   Guy: " That movie was awesome!"
   Girl: "But we haven't seen that together?"
   Guy: " Oh I think I heard it from my friend...blah...blah...blah..."

-he constantly bashes the girls you are suspicious of to kill whatever doubts you have
-when you argue he tells you that other women would understand him better
-he's more brazen and arrogant in threatening to leave you when you fight because he knows he has a backup waiting for him
-he tells you that he has a big surprise for you that's why he should be left undisturbed on certain occassions and hours. Yet weeks, months and years pass by and the surprise never happens
- when you find girly stuffs like lipsticks or comb left in his car, it's always his SISTER'S!
-when you find cinema and concert tickets for two in his pocket, it's always his BROTHER'S!
-his screensaver which used to be the two of you is now an image of a car
-he's now serious as hell with his diet/gym schedules

  And the list goes on and on. Nobody deserves to be taken for a ride. We don't need selfish men like these who only cares about what will make them happy. They are just a bunch of losers who's fooling nobody but themselves. One day sweet karma will eat him up and it will be too late when he finally realizes the sweetest thing on earth is gone...which is to have your love and loyalty.  

No comments: